"Money can’t make you happy"
WELL IT SURE AS HELL AINT GONNA MAKE ME SAD
the first step to any murder is to have fun and be yourself
"i don’t watch tv" proudly says a person who spends 8 hours a day on the internet
The flight attendant just announced “If you don’t like any of my jokes, there are six exits” and told us where the emergency exits are it was actually the best
"for those of you who are traveling with children… WHY"
"if you’re changing to a flight with a different airline, we don’t care."
he said “okay now get out” once we landed i’m pissing myself
Of course Brad Pitt helped hand out plates and napkins. Dude’s got 47 kids.
i want hannibal to say “you are what you eat” and stare directly into the camera for 15 seconds without blinking
do you ever read old conversations you had with someone and realize how much more they used to be interested you and it makes you feel like complete shit because everything is different now and you can tell you’ve just lost that shine that got their attention in the first place
me: ok i’ll study at 8:00
me: *pretends i didn’t see*
They call me coffee cuz I grind so fine
They call me coffee I keep you up past 2 am
They call me coffee because I’m really bitter and most people don’t like me without changing some aspect of what I am
what if you woke up with amnesia and all you could remember was your tumblr password and you had to discover who you were based off your posts
your url suggests differently
fucking Japanese people
"What does the chef recommend?"
"Sir, this is a mcdonalds"
everyone is getting into relationships and growing up and im just getting lazier and finding more tv series to watch