im sorry i just i couldn’t sleep so i had to
dont look at me
will’s dancing is making my day.
once when i was little, i claimed it was a teacher’s work day so i wouldn’t have to go to school and mom’s not an idiot so of course it didn’t work, but when we got to the school, we found it was a teacher’s work day and that made me think i had super powers so i started trying to kill classmates with my mind to confirm the theory
You thought you had super powers so you immediately attempted to murder everyone
go big or go home
ITS A POST!!!!!! WHY HAVENT I SEEN THIS IN POST FORM BEFORE!!!!
It may seem like I’m a sarcastic asshole 24/7, but I’m actually only a sarcastic asshole 18/7 because at night I actually have feelings.
my mom tried to teach our goats to pee in one certain spot by giving them treats when they’d pee in that spot
they think that now whenever they pee they get a treat
so whenever they see my mom
laughed for a solid five minutes
behaviorism gone wrong
Pavlov is laughing in his grave
what if you woke up tomorrow and it was still 2013 and you had to relive the entire year?
i just found out my (female) cousin has a girlfriend
i wish i could message her like
but if YOU’RE the gay cousin
and I’M the gay cousin
THEN WHO’S DRIVING THE CAR???
I am literally the friend that gives relationship advice and is always single.
if you’re ever having problems with a boy just remember that at least he never converted his entire country to protestantism just to break up with you
oh my fucking god
SCREAMING BECAUSE I LOVE HISTORY.
McDonald’s are testing home delivery
Doesn’t McDonalds already deliver?